Sex expert Nadia Bokody urges women to break up with their boyfriends if he refuses to engage in bedroom foreplay. In a new column on News.au she says that’s reason enough to end the relationship and refers to the gender “satisfaction gap” or “orgasm gap” as it’s often called.
Studies show that heterosexual men have an orgasm 95% of the time, while heterosexual women have an orgasm 65% of the time. Nadia has discussed this discrepancy before, saying at the time that this stark difference was one of the reasons she started writing about sex.
Women are not the problem
Nadia wonders why so many women in heterosexual relationships have “mediocre” sex.
She says every time she discusses these issues in her columns, the comments section is flooded with men telling her she’s wrong. “Their wives and girlfriends are very happy! What else do I know? I’ve never slept with a ‘real man’. I never know whether to laugh or cry on behalf of all straight women,” says she, adding that science does not lie, as mentioned above. Heterosexual men get it much more often during sex than heterosexual women.
Women aren’t the problem, as the same study shows that gay women suffer from it almost as often as straight men, about 86% of the time. Another study shows that 95% of women have an orgasm within minutes when they masturbate.
“The real problem isn’t women’s bodies, it’s the fact that a lot of men just don’t care about women’s pleasure,” she says.
“Pump and Dump”
Nadia says it’s a problem that women are objectified and men brag about ‘pumping and pumping’, with a complete lack of respect for women and their pleasure.
She cites a recent example of men’s disinterest in women’s pleasure. Nadia received a message from a woman saying her boyfriend didn’t want to participate in foreplay “This was after she told him she needed foreplay before sex,” Nadia explains.
“Although I rarely give advice online, I couldn’t say it fast enough, ‘Break it up with him.'” I would say the same to my friend. Because it’s about listening to women, caring about what they say and what matters to them,” she says.
“And the depressing reality for a lot of women is that their boyfriend or husband just doesn’t care.” The patriarchy tells men they don’t care, they’re the protagonists and women just in a supporting role.”
“If a man can ignore a partner who says, ‘I need foreplay to make sex feel good,’ then he’s just as likely to emotionally ignore her or not participate in the home, for example. example,” she said.
