“The worst thing you can imagine happened to me. I caught my husband having sex with my mom.”
This is how a woman’s letter to a relationship and sex counselor begins The sun Dear Deidre.
The woman is 31 and has lived with her husband, 38, for seven years. Together they have a five-year-old son. Her mother is 49, but the woman says she never found out who her father is.
“For years it was just the two of us. She had boyfriends, but then met my stepdad when I was 15. He’s adorable, he’s 55,” she says.
I thought they were unstoppable
“My husband and I got married four years ago and it was such a beautiful day. I thought we were unstoppable.” But that changed and her world fell apart.
“I’m a nurse, so I often work evenings and my mum helps with the son. I’ve always considered myself very lucky that my mum and my husband get along well and I never doubted anything” , she says.
“He always flirted with her a bit but I thought he was just being stupid to make her feel good.” It didn’t bother me at all. But when I think back, she was often still at my house, even though my husband was at home and she didn’t need his help.”
Everything changed one night when she came home naked from work. “Through a crack in the curtains I saw my husband lying on top of my mother. I panicked and threw up outside the house, then I got back in the car, pulled myself together and I texted my husband that I would be home in ten minutes. When I entered the house, everything seemed completely normal, although my mother was quite flushed in her face and neck. I’m sure that “They were having sex. I just don’t know what to do.”
Betrayal of the worst kind
The relationship counselor gives advice. “It must have been a terrible shock. The two people you trusted the most betrayed you,” she says.
“Trust is earned and it will take time to recover from it, if you can.”
She encourages the woman to seek professional help. “When you’re ready, tell your husband that he also needs to come see the counselor, who can help you tell your husband what you saw.”
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