Men share testimonies of sexual violence in the wake of #MeTooGarçons campaign

About a month subsequent to launching a campaign on social media under the hashtag #MeTooGarçons, running parallel to the “#MeToo” initiative empowering women to speak out against instances of rape and sexual harassment, the French newspaper “Le Monde” unveiled an investigation documenting the testimonies of men who had been victims of sexual violence at the hands of women.

Pierre (a pseudonym), aged 33, disclosed to the newspaper that he had been “raped by a young woman when he was 19 years old.” He recounted the details of the incident, narrating his victimization at the hands of a woman during a party at a friend’s residence.

He recounted enduring several instances of harassment throughout the evening, culminating in the woman seizing him by the collar of his shirt and leading him into a room, the door of which was shut by a closet, before coercing him to remove his pants and engaging in non-consensual intercourse with him.

The young man elucidated that “he did not wish to betray his girlfriend, but the assailant ensnared him, compelling him into a sexual encounter.” He emphasized that “what occurred was a form of insanity,” describing the dissociative state familiar to many victims of sexual assault.

#MeTooGarçons or #MeTooGuys

#MeTooGarçons (#MeTooGuys) The launch of the “#MeToo” campaign for male experiences, on February 22nd, ensued after French artist Aurelien Weck’s call to action, prompted by his own revelations regarding the sexual violence he endured in his youth at the hands of certain relatives and his agent.

The French actor publicly disclosed his ordeal via Instagram, inaugurating a new campaign against sexual harassment aimed at children and men, concurrently initiating legal action against his purported aggressors.

"Partout où des dominations s'exercent, où les rapports hiérarchiques sont puissants et peuvent induire des violences sexistes et sexuelles et réduire les victimes au silence, nous devons établir des contre pouvoirs."#MeToo #MeTooGarçons pic.twitter.com/00Vfw2qSzU

— Aurore Bergé (@auroreberge) March 4, 2024

Under the hashtag “I Am Too Young,” male social media users recounted their encounters with sexual assault, whether perpetrated by males during their childhood or by women.

Instances of sexual assault against men by women constitute a “statistical minority,” affirmed Lucie Wieke, a doctoral candidate at the Faculty of Advanced Studies in Social Sciences, and the sole researcher in sociology focusing on male victims of sexual violence in France. Nevertheless, a number of male minors are also subjected to assaults by older individuals or by women.

However, Pierre refrained from categorizing himself as a victim of the incident, asserting: This episode amounted to nothing more than “an incident of the evening.”

Beneath the narratives of Pierre and two other men interviewed by the newspaper, Le Monde discerns shadows of gender stereotypes, indicating that Pierre incessantly boasted about the incident, remarking: “You drive women to the point of losing control to the extent that they seize you in such a manner.”

In a 2017 study involving 39 students compelled into sexual acts by women, American sociologist Jesse Ford observed the prevalence of this form of positive discourse regarding distressing experiences, positing that adopting a humorous tone to trivialize such encounters could “mitigate the repercussions of a negative experience, ostensibly asserting control over the situation and upholding masculinity.”

Clement (a pseudonym), aged 30, now reminisces about an “unexpected occurrence” that transpired on the evening of his 21st birthday in 2014, recalling: “I was a reserved individual, and following an evening out, I needed to return home with my roommate, who persistently attempted to initiate romantic advances despite my rebuffs.”

“I was unsure how to convey my reluctance to engage in sexual activity,” Kleiman elucidates. “I simply acquiesced without granting consent.”

He elaborated: “She remained overnight at our residence, and I struggled to accept that I did not desire a sexual liaison, as I construed the absence of carnal desire and discontent therein as indicators of deficient masculinity.”

The World Health Organization delineates sexual violence as “any sexual act, endeavor to engage in a sexual act, or other act aimed at a person’s sexuality employing coercion, perpetrated by any individual irrespective of their relationship to the victim, across any setting.”

The newspaper reports that both Clement and Pierre expressed astonishment at experiencing erections “despite their lack of willingness to engage in sexual intercourse.”

Nonetheless, the report expounds that “a physiological response, such as an erection, occurs similarly in women whose sexual physiology produces lubrication during rape, as a neurological reaction aimed at mitigating trauma.”

Cyril (a pseudonym), aged 19, who was sexually assaulted by two males and subsequently by his former girlfriend, asserts, “While the assault by a woman was less overtly violent, it nevertheless constitutes sexual assault.”

Cyril divulges to Le Monde that the rape ordeal “devastated his sexual life,” precipitating a decline in his libido. Throughout his relationship with his girlfriend, he frequently rebuffed her sexual advances, yet acquiesced to her desires against his own, which he characterizes as “assault.”

Kleiman, in turn, delineated the adverse repercussions of the assault inflicted upon him, remarking: “When a woman broaches the topic of sex with me, I experience nausea. That experience instilled in me a fear of approaching women for five years,” appending: “Even now, I am unable to perceive a woman towering over me without being reminded of what transpired.”

Hiding women’s suffering

Concealing Women’s Suffering Following the inception of the aforementioned hashtag, narratives and experiences of youth have proliferated on the “X” platform in recent days, recounting their ordeals as victims of sexual violence. However, feminist activists censured the illumination of this issue under a campaign primarily focused on women.

In this vein, attorney and feminist activist Manar Zuaiter contends that “whenever women’s issues are broached, there’s invariably someone who asserts that men too have rights they advocate for,” appending: “Each individual is entitled to assert their rights and spearhead supportive campaigns. However, no one has the prerogative to trivialize women and their suffering.”

She remarked in a statement, “Historically, women have invariably borne the brunt of sexual violence, spanning from harassment to rape and trafficking… the judiciary and legal documentation corroborate this.”

The three men concede that their experiences pale in comparison to those of women. “The suffering endured by women victims of rape is far greater, and I fail to perceive justification for employing the same terminology,” Pierre contends.

“I may endure an episode of this nature once, whereas women are subjected to assault ubiquitously and perpetually, be it in bars or on the streets. I feel less vulnerable,” Kleiman interjects.

In this context, French sociologist Lucie Wieke cautions against comparing the experiences of both genders, underscoring “the vast spectrum of violence to which women of all ages and backgrounds are exposed.”

The newspaper noted that Pierre, Clément, and Cyril initially demurred from testifying, apprehensive that their accounts would be construed as “gripes from patriarchs seeking to diminish women’s suffering.”

Regarding the ramifications of this on concealing women’s suffering, Cyril remarked: “If men too recognize themselves as potential victims, they will demonstrate heightened concern for mutual consent before embarking on relationships.”

Zuaiter asserted that when the feminist movement amplifies its voice against violence targeting women, it does not negate the possibility that both women and men may fall victim to violence in myriad forms, yet the dynamics of relationships render women more susceptible to sexual violence.

She contended that this campaign “obscures women’s suffering, distorts feminist demands, belittles them, and diminishes their value.”

Zuaiter highlighted “the substantial issue of lacking a precise definition of sexual violence in the Arab region. Globally, rape is defined by non-consent alone, whereas in Arab countries, proof of physical penetration is necessitated to establish rape.”

She deemed the assertion by men as somewhat absurd, acknowledging that while male children and men may be victims of harassment and rape, framing a campaign with such slogans conveys an air of disdain and distortion of authentic demands. She emphasized, “This isn’t how we ensure men assert their rights.”

Legal expert Dana Hamdan posits that rape can transpire from a woman against a man, with the man potentially becoming the victim. She contends that this form of testimony “does not cast aspersions on women or obscure their suffering, as rights are absolutely indivisible.”

Hamdan underscores, “Statistics on domestic and sexual violence remain relatively meager compared to their actual prevalence,” attributing this to the reluctance of both women and men to report assaults, particularly if they perceive that such incidents may undermine their identity and masculinity.

Sexual violence persists as a concealed phenomenon, with few victims stepping forward to seek assistance, support, or justice, hampered by feelings of guilt, shame, fear of reprisal, or societal taboos.

Despite the prevalence of the phenomenon in Arab countries, Hamdan notes that “its acknowledgment remains lacking in the majority of Arab countries’ laws,” except for Tunisia, where legislation explicitly stipulates the possibility of both females and males falling victim to rape.

Article 227 of the Tunisian Penal Code states: “Any act leading to sexual penetration, regardless of its nature and method, against a female or male without consent, is deemed rape. The perpetrator of the crime of rape shall face imprisonment for twenty years.”

Hamdan asserts, “Laws in the Arab region must undergo revision, particularly those related to family and sexual relations, with the criminalization of marital rape being a priority. Marital rape is still considered taboo, prohibited, or a topic of lesser importance, contrary to its significance in organizing family life and society at large.”