Bjarki Viðarsson says his life became a sad combination of terrible consumerism, dishonesty and bad acting when he finally moved on. Bjarki and Aron Mímir Gylfason, who host the street boys podcast, are the latest guests on Sölva Tryggvason’s podcast. They both came back to life after years of drinking and now want to make a good impression.
“My life had become one big dishonesty, where consumption took over everything. It was actually terribly sad when I look back. I may have been awake for a few days when I ventured a few meters into nature to post a picture of me jogging on Instagram to make it look like I was on the right track When I was awake in a room watching porn and playing games video under the influence of drugs for days pretending to snore when I heard my mother by the door and so on I remember that last day of Christmas shortly before I was sober Then I got up when dinner was about to start and said I had to skip work and then I took the 140 to Mosfellsbær to get some drugs and everyone had already eaten when I I came back in. My life had become one big web of lies, which is absolutely awful and only adds to the isolation and even more consumption. I remember how much of a weight was lifted off my back when this happened to me, just because then I didn’t have to hide and lie down day after day,” Bjarki says.
I isolated myself
The story of the two partners is similar in many ways, except Aron was more into parties and around people, while Bjarki isolated himself. Aron says he usually shifted into fifth gear consumption when summer hit.
“I used to put everything on hold when the summer started. My drinking progressed and got worse, but when the summer came the drinking got worse. Then I was usually awake continuously for four days, then I slept for three. So when school started in the fall, I was told how much I put in, it was because of all the amphetamines and parties that you were wasting 10- 15 kilos every summer”, says Aron and continues.
“It’s sometimes called having a binge when you take enough amphetamines for long enough to not eat anything.” Then you lose weight quickly. So you stay up and play video games all the time or you are at parties. But the lows are terrible and not everyone survives them. For me, all will to live was gone, and in fact, existence was just terrible in every way.”
Always make up for past behavior
Aron says he still makes amends for the way he treated his people during peak consumption.
“I did anything to get more cocaine and was emotionally dead. I took my dad’s cars and left them somewhere in town and then maybe he was on his way for work and he didn’t have a car at home. I was starting to be surrounded by hardened criminals and I didn’t care. I had started selling drugs, but I always got away with it because that I used a lot of it myself.
I’m still trying to make up for how badly I treated my loved ones when I was in my prime. After 3-4 years of this I was completely exhausted in body and soul and finally asked for help. I managed to stay sober for 2 and a half years until I broke down on a trip to Tenerife. It took me six hours to completely lose my grip. But after that trip, I went back to treatment and really started doing everything I was told to do and I’ve been sober ever since,” Aron says, and Bjarki toes the same line:
“I didn’t realize I kept (my mum) awake for 10 years because she could never relax because she was so worried about her boy. She was trying to get me to seek help and wanted to do everything for me, but it didn’t work out. You go completely blind when you’re in this place and you don’t realize what you’re doing to your people.”
You want to help others
Bjarki and Aron have both been sober for some time and say they are passionate about helping people who find themselves in a situation similar to theirs. They have seen friends and acquaintances die from drugs and say that might as well have been their fate.
“We lost a lot of people who were with us, both acquaintances, boys who drank with us and a good friend. Those boys were never able to live a normal life or grow up and of course that’s terrible. That’s part of what we’re trying to do with this podcast of ours, both sharing our story and also bringing in people who have been through similar things and have managed to get back on track. It’s important to get the message out to young people that there is hope no matter how far you’ve sunk.”
You can access the street boys interview and all Sölva Tryggvason interviews and podcasts at solvitryggva.is
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