“When the doctor told me I had cancer, there was never any shock and I didn’t cry at all. It was like he was telling me there was pain. pizza for dinner,” says Kristjana Björk Traustadóttir, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2022, then just 33 years old. Kristjana had just started working after maternity leave, but had been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder as well as depression and anxiety after having children.
Kristjana and her husband, Atli Viðar Þorsteinsson, tell their story in Kraft magazine cover interview, Laila Sæunn Pétursdóttir did the interview and Þórdís Reynisdóttir covered the photo. DV has the kind permission of the couple and Kraft to continue sharing the interview.
The diagnosis of cancer the last blow of a difficult year
The cancer diagnosis capped off a difficult year for the couple. Atli Viðar lost his brother to cancer in September last year and just managed to say goodbye to him before his death, Atli Viðar later saw that Mannlíf stole and twisted his memoir about his brother, sued legal action and the media were ordered to pay compensation. In November Atli Vidar then lost his job, in March after going through his own grieving process he decided to look for a job but then Kristjana was diagnosed and the couple decided he was more needed than he remains at home for the next few months. All of this and more has had a big impact on the family, but the couple want to tell their story because they believe their experience can help others.
See also: Atli Viðar and Árvakur committed suicide over writing memoirs
The couple met in 2012 and got married in 2016 in a house they bought in Hveragerði, where the family still lives and they don’t want to live anywhere else. The couple have two young children and there are 22 months between them. Kristjana had been battling a breast infection when she was breastfeeding, was very tired and felt more tired than the other mums around her, and one of her breasts had a bit of a different shape, but then she went to the doctor for something completely different and decided to ask him about it along the way.
“I was just expecting him to confirm a lung infection.” He said he wanted me to do a photo shoot at Domus, he understood right away what it was about. Then everything went so fast. I went to the doctor on March 16 and on March 30 I received the diagnosis. When I got the diagnosis, then just – BAMM – there was the explanation. The cancer had formed in my body and that’s why I was so tired.”
Does not need a breast to carry out daily life
Kristjana underwent six heavy doses of medication and then underwent surgery in which her right breast was removed. She has decided not to undergo breast augmentation and finds it strange that the system is aimed at women undergoing breast augmentation after a mastectomy. “I have now been on intravenous medication every three weeks for a whole year and finished the last medication at the end of April, but I will be taking anti-hormonal tablets for the next 5-10 years. I was lucky that the tumor has not spread and is therefore operable, but afterwards I absolutely did not want to have pads considered cancerous, nor to move fat to another part of the body to have breasts with the intervention partner. It’s not like my body hasn’t suffered enough and it’s not like I need breasts for my everyday life.”
When Kristjana was diagnosed, her sisters opened an account where friends and family deposited, and they say the help was invaluable and carried them through the first few months. Atli Viðar, who is a DJ, was able to concentrate on this work, since restrictions on gatherings were lifted in March last year. They have also received insurance money and Kristjana highly recommends health insurance. “I was pretty sure there would be some kind of provision in the fine print that this particular type of cancer was not covered. When the money arrived in the bank account, I didn’t dare move it for a while because I was sure they would take it back from us,” says Kristjana.
When asked how the situation happened to the children, the couple say they tried to let the situation affect them as little as possible, while being as honest as possible with their daughter about the cancer, but taking into account about his age. Their son was less accepting of what happened, being only one and a half when the process began. “We let her see the medicine well and talked about the cancer with her, but when she asked, for example, what my father’s brother died of, we didn’t tell her it was cancer. We didn’t want her not to associate cancer that way,” says Kristjana.
Kristjana, Atli Viðar and their children Photo: Þórhildur Reynisdóttir
Received more help with children
The couple are grateful for all the help they have received, but agree that a little more help with the children would have been appreciated. They know people want to help, but usually people don’t know how to offer help, and everyone’s had enough.
“During the first half of chemo, I felt like it was completely impossible to do this with two young children, but as the end started to pass and I was completely done, I started to see the beauty it contained. When I was exhausted in body and soul and felt I couldn’t take it anymore, I was given the strength to carry on thanks to them. Atli often had to be with the children, but I was like a shadow with them. Like an accessory. We are very grateful for all the help we have received, but after this experience, I encourage those who have a cancer patient in their entourage to offer their help with the kids. Just pick them up and don’t let the parent or the patient do the planning. It’s always hard to ask for help.”
Kristjana is an excellent seamstress and says sewing has helped her a lot during her chemotherapy and rehabilitation. After the diagnosis, she founded the Little Breast Shop and maintains the Instagram petit_brjostabudin but there are only breasts to be found.
“Immediately after the diagnosis, I started seeing psychologists, occupational therapists, getting support from the Cancer Society, Kraft og Ljósin. I was very happy to hear about the help available before the start of the chemotherapy itself. I also bought the Lyfjakart from Kraft, which is absolutely brilliant. Rehabilitation is a long process, so far I have focused more on the mental side but now I feel ready to start to focus more on the body. I’m careful though not to go too fast. It’s not just cancer, but also pregnancies and all that comes with them, the stress accumulated over a period of five years has been too heavy.”
Able to inform loved ones
The couple say they were able to tell friends and family about the situation, they set up a Facebook page for loved ones and say it helped them not have to answer the same questions multiple times and made sure everyone was informed about the situation. Kristjana wrote extensively about the process on Instagram. “It also helped me a lot to say things out loud on social media and helped me to help others and at the same time helped me to let people know.”
In the same way, Atli Vidar was good at speaking frankly to his friends, holding nothing back and telling things as they were at a given moment. “I tweeted a lot during this time but mostly kept Twitter as a ‘cancer free zone’, I didn’t tweet anything about cancer until we saw the end of it. I wanted a place where I could pretend that cancer didn’t exist,” says Atli.
When asked what helped them the most during the process, they said it showed mutual understanding and support. They gained a deeper connection after all they had to go through.
"When I was completely down he took the bullets and when I had energy I took them. But sometimes we're both completely exhausted, but then we look at each other and laugh and say it's is equal - at least the kids are happy - and that's what keeps us going. The kids had a lot of energy from me, but at the same time they gave me strength."
The couple’s interview can be read in its entirety in Kraft’s review.
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