Conflict is an inevitable part of life. Even the calmest person will experience some degree of interpersonal arousal at some point. In most cases, people cannot control what happens next. The only aspect of conflict that we can control is how we react and approach the situation, and we can achieve this in the following ways:
1. Take a few deep breaths
The ability to stay calm and focused during conflict depends on your ability to tense your body. Shallow breathing is an innate reaction of the body to stress. By overriding this natural reaction and practicing deep breathing, you will help your body stay calm.
Take a deep breath in through your nose before slowly exhaling through your mouth. Deep, light breaths stop the production of two stress hormones: adrenaline and cortisol.
2. Focus on your body
Focusing on all of the physical sensations that arise from conflict allows you to consciously alter them. When your attention is on the body, you may feel tension, shallow breathing, etc. that accompany stress.
When you notice your body beginning to tense, return the pose to a neutral state by releasing your shoulders and arms. This open position expresses positivity through body language and often helps defuse conflict.
3. Listen actively
A person will start an argument or other type of conflict if they feel they are not being heard. Moreover, it is impossible to defuse a conflict without listening carefully and actively.
When someone is speaking, focus all of your attention on what that person is saying. Ignore any idea of ​​constructing an answer. Once the person is done talking, you have the information you need to make an intelligent response.
4. Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions are invaluable in resolving conflict. First, they show that you are listening carefully. Second, such questions show respect for the person, allowing them to formulate their thoughts.
Learning to ask open-ended questions can be a bit difficult for some people. The easiest way to avoid “yes” or “no” questions is to not use the words “do”, “don’t”, “do” and “not do” when asking a question. Instead, use the words “what”, “why”, “when” and “how”.
5. Stay calm in conversation
The easiest way to escalate a conflict is to raise your voice. On the other hand, one of the easiest ways to defuse conflict is to lower your voice. Voice level is also related to blood pressure. When blood pressure reaches a certain point, it becomes more difficult to understand what is being said.
The first step is to suppress the other person’s initial anger. You can’t do it by raising your voice. On the other hand, you can quickly convey a sense of calm by making a conscious decision to lower your voice.
6. Agreement in case of disagreement
Not all conflicts will lead to friendly or mutually acceptable outcomes. However, you can avoid escalating the conflict by politely refusing to talk.
One of the laws of interpersonal conflict is that two parties are necessary. Ending the discussion is appropriate in one of two circumstances: 1. the person is becoming increasingly hostile, or 2. the conversation, despite your best efforts, is going nowhere.
It is also important to forgive yourself if you behave inappropriately. We all do this, and anyone who says otherwise is lying.
If you follow these tips, your emotions will be controlled to your advantage.
See also: COP therapy as a modern and effective way to resolve psychological difficulties.
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